Harry's Science Experiment
by FloppyWandedDementorBuggerer
Summary: A strange mixture of Science Fiction and Fantasy. Harry creates a monster using magic and technology to destroy Voldemort. Random and strange. Stupid. I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, this would be a sad day for literature because my hyper-active mind is only apt for finishing a short one-shot. RATED T FOR SCIENCE!


Harry's Science Experiment

A strange mixture of Science Fiction and Fantasy. Harry creates a monster using magic and technology to destroy Voldemort. Random and strange. Stupid.

I do not own Harry Potter. I just write random things based on the original.

"Stand back!" Harry yelled, donned with a white lab coat and goggles, "I need space for my experiment to move!"

He shielded his face with the back of his hand and stepped to the monster in front of him, a mixture of body pieces from some Blast-Ended Skrewts, limbs from the morgue and a cat sewn together by hand.

"Harry," Hermione said wearily, "I don't think it's safe for you to do this-"

"Silence!" Harry spun around and eyed Hermione and Ron, "You may leave this abandoned classroom, or you may stay. It is your choice. But," He stepped forward, "if you choose to say, it won't be my fault if anything goes a little..." His eye twitched, "haywire."

"I told you not to let him watch the television, Ron!" Hermione scolded under her breath.

That previous weekend before they got back from Christmas break, Ron's father had found a television and fixed it up. Harry had discovered some old Muggle Science Fiction movies and watched Frankenstein along with many other crazy, scientific films.

"Now! First I need to check my paperwork... Yes... Set the machine to 129 joules!"

"But that's-"

"129 joules!" Harry restated, doing it himself with a flourish, "Now. Turn this on," the machine came to life with a flick of a switch, electricity buzzing around the rectangular metal table the experiment was on, "Vitae!" Harry said as the machine buzzed electricity into the animal like and AED.

Ron and Hermione stood far away as possible form the occurrence with looks of angst, curiosity and fear on their faces. Harry had gone insane.

"Vitae!" He said loudly, his arm up high and his wand pointed at a bizarre angle towards the mass of various organisms as it convulsed and twitched.

"Harry...?" Hermione asked timidly.

"I need silence! Vitae!" He said as the beast gave one final convulsion and laid still. Harry dropped his arm and stepped towards the animal, bending down over it's face, the cat face, and watched with apt attention and giddiness, "It's breathing." He whispered.

"What?" Hermione and Ron asked.

"It's breathing!" He said loudly, "Yes! I shall create a whole army of these unstoppable creatures! Nay! They need to be larger! Greater! Fiercer! This is not so dangerous that it's a threat to Voldemort. Though..."

Harry took a step forward and touched the beast, waking it up fully. It sat up and growled sleepily, though not as pronounced as you'd think.

"Harry! It- we need- this is dangerous!" Ron said quickly inching towards the door.

"Stop! Motion will provoke it! We need to be still and calm as we welcome the beast into our world!" Harry stepped forward, his hand outstretched, "It's all right," Harry said smoothly, "I won't hurt you."

The animal made a strange meowing sound and fire shot out from its posterior.

"She likes me!" Harry called happily, "Marvelous! Outstanding! But what shall I call this new species? Ah, my dear, I shall make you a male so that you may multiply!" Harry told the apparently female beast, "I shall call you... Harry's Monster! But Tufty for short. And your male counterpart shall be... Hmm... I like Lewis."

Hermione's eye gave a twitch as Harry petted the beast, a smile on his mouth and his right hand grabbing for a pencil to take notes.

"Cranial appearance: feline. Vocal ability: feline. Gustatory: Blast-Ended Skrewt. Hmm... Appendages: homo-sepian."

Harry continued to check the range of motion of the beast and rote down all the angles. He then took a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff from his rucksack and began to take its vitals. Then, he began to make a pallet on the floor for it out of some pillows and a blanket he brought.

"There, Tufty." Harry cooed, "I'll be off to the morgue for some more parts for your future compeer."

"What? Harry! You can't be serious!" Hermione screamed.

"Do you or don't you want Voldemort defeated?" Harry asked.

"I do, but-"

"Then don't interrupt me! Owl me if you happen to find another cat. It'll save me some trouble."

Harry walked out of the door, a snoring Tufty left behind.

"But where did you get this first- YOU USED CROOKSHANKS?!" Hermione asked seeing the red fur if the horribly mangled cat head.

"No wonder his Aunt and Uncle didn't let him watch the telly. This kid needs a tranquilizer... Or a nice jacket."

"Or both." Hermione said tearing her gaze from her precious mangled Crookshanks, "No more television. Ever. I mean it!"

"Ah, potions! The science of the magical world!" Harry sighed, wafting a cloud of steam to his nose from a bright orange potion.

"Potter. Take a seat before I start taking away points." Professor Snape commanded.

"Yes, sir!" Harry cried, running to his seat in a very undignified manner, gaining a few laughs.

"Anyway," Professor Snap continued, rolling his eyes, "There has been a peculiar substance leaking from somewhere on the fourth floor and I want everyone to examine it, using various potions to deduce from what or where it came from."

Harry looked down at the cauldron full of a brown part liquid part solid mixture and gasped.

"The texture! The aroma! My, Merlin! It's Tufty!" Harry said dramatically looking to Ron and Hermione for their expressions.

"What the devil are you talking about, Potter?"

"My monster! This is the substance that comes from her!" Harry said happily.

"M-monster? You found this monster?"

"No, sir! I made her!" Harry said brightly.

"Class is dismissed. Potter-" Professor Snape stepped forward, "show me to this beast."

Harry took Professor Snape, along with Ron and Hermione, to see his beautiful Tufty, explaining how he made her and her characteristics.

"Oh, she is very tame, sir. If you pet her just right, it stops the puking, which is the substance you gathered. I am still not sure why she does it." Harry looked thoughtfully at the hallway ahead of him, "Perhaps it's to do with the gastrointestinal system of the Skrewt... It's used to having a larger mouth, and not the small one of a cat. I'll test it later. But now," Harry opened the door, "you meet Tufty."

The beast was laying at the far end of the room playing with a ball of yarn and shooting substances from its posterior.

"It's how she becomes... void." Harry whispered the last part as if to keep it private.

"Potter! Why on Earth would you make such a thing? And I bet you used Dark Magic as well? If you di-"

"I used the 'Vitae' spell and used some electricity-"

"Where did you get this electricity?" He asked.

"That plug. I only needed 129 joules."

Professor Snape rubbed his temple and sighed, "We can't keep this here. We have to get rid of it."

"But I was using her to defeat Voldemort!" Harry said, "When I can get another cat-"

"NO! It appears you've stolen dead limbs from somewhere, which is against some rule, I am sure. You've done Dark Magic that isn't even taught to seventh years."

"But what will we do with Tufty?"

"I suggest we go to Professor Dumbledore."

"Tufty?" Professor Dumbledore questioned the small party before him; Harry with a large creature, Snape holding a bucket next to said creature to catch a questionable substance from what looked like its backside and Ron and Hermione, looking as if they wanted to just leave.

"Yes, sir! I created her to use to defeat Voldemort." Harry said, "With some interbreeding and some more chemical engineering-"

"As interesting as it sounds, Mr. Potter, I do not think this, erm, Tufty, won't be much of a threat to Voldemort."

"But-"

"No. Come. We shall take Tufty to the forbidden forrest."

("Is that where all the creatures in there come from? Failed experiments?" Ron asked Hermione, who shrugged.)

Harry sat Tufty at the edge of the Forrest and waited for her to move, which she didn't.

"Tufty, you fat lard, get into the Forrest!" Ron yelled.

"Hey! She needs kindness! Come, Tufty. Go find some friends! I'm sure the Skrewts will befriend you!" Harry called edging towards the Forrest.

Tufty looked up at Harry with a bored look and began to walk slowly to the Forrest, leaving a pile of bile where she had been lain. Professor Snape emptied the bucket behind a bush.

"Well... I have some things to return to the morgue." Harry said walking back up to the castle, "Tell Mr. Filtch that it's too late for Mrs. Norris, but I could use taxidermy to-"

"POTTER!"


End file.
